Read all the oldest post in this blog and I just surprise I manage to go through all this shit alive.
Need to saved as draft most the oldest post since going to open this blog for public.
Since I've got some leisure times now, let me share some nonsense things happens in my life for last year.
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1st, still fat, single and in denial of married life.
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2nd, most of our MNL gang resigned and move to other team. Only left two of us and both of us still in the same sub team. AND STILL SHARING THE SAME STATUS, SINGLE. SAD
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3rd,
I went through operation remove appendix.
At first, doctor detected I have batu karang in my hempedu and want to remove that.
After going full body scan, they saw my appendix also got some prob and decide to remove both. 1st time been hospitalised and haunting me till now.
The operation started at 11pm or 12am, cant remember the exact time. Need to push even though midnight as the appendix cant wait longer.
I've been located in ICU alone after operation, no one there except doc and nurses that monitor my heart beat.
Sad story but, its happens.
After terjaga, doc told me that they only manage to remove my appendix since the rock in my hempedu is solid rock and if they still proceed to remove it, they risk my life. I'm not in a good condition to go for major operation to remove that batu degil.
Need to go for 2nd operation but I insists not to do it. Dont want to be in ICU alone again. Scary and sakit. I hate the feeling of alone in ICU. Still can feel it till now.
Let Allah decide how my life will be.
My final decision.
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Try to live a better life nowadays. My circle of friends become smaller as not really active in soc media. Post operation- it makes me realise how I should live my life.
Just go with the flow and do not bother what others think and talk about you.
You are the one who will ride that rollercoaster alone at the end.
Do what makes you happy and tell everyone that you missed and loved, about your feeling. You never know if you still have a chance to do so in next 1 second.
If what you aim for, not yet in your hand, nevermind. Maybe this is the best for you.
Just go with it and enjoy.
I'm lucky enough to have family and friends that still support and cheer me when I'm down.
Especially during the post operation time.
I have mental breakdown and emotionally break down that time.
I hate being in hospital.
Everytime my mom come to visit me, I asked her if I will die today. Still can remember that moment and feeling.
She needs to tell me to be strong and just think of Allah. Every seconds.
And every night is a nightmare as no one with me and I still can imagine how I am in ICU.
Even, my condition is not so good yet (as doc asked me to walk around, but I dont), my doc allowed me to discharged and have a rest at home with condition I patuh with every date of appointment and stay at home only.
But, yeah, I'm a stubborn kid.
Before the last appointment, I'm already reported to work.
My mom told me, this is a reason for my breakdown.
I cant stay at home or room for a long period of times doing nothing.
Its not good actually.
I slowly change my habit and spend more times at home.
But still, that nightmare still in my mind and it reminds me again tonight.
😷😷😷😷😷😷
